The Return of the High Inquisitor of the DAMNED
by Cynicism and Happiness
Summary: This is the sequel to No Magic Allowed. Umbridge comes back to Hogwarts, which the students are totally not enthusiastic about especially when she starts to bring back her old Defense Theory policies...will the DA come back? And what will they do?
1. Chapter 1: Tyrant Teacher

**Disclaimer:** I fixed my glasses with amazing skill and a pair of pliers, but I still do not own Harry Potter!

**Chapter 1: Tyrant Teacher**

Hermione, Ron, and Harry couldn't believe it. It was terrible. How could such an awful thing happen? At least Dumbledore had come back. It turned out that Snape hadn't killed him at all, as an Unforgivable Curse had to be said with meaning, but deep, deep, deep down (_very_ deep down), Snape had really admired and cared for his former headmaster and employer. Dumbledore had always been good to him, and, as much as he hated to admit it, he detested fighting Dumbledore with Voldemort. Of course he was loyal to the Dark Side and always had been, but still. He wasn't completely inhumane (not completely, being the key phrase here).

So, while he had injured Dumbledore very badly and fled with one of the students who had been enticed into the Dark Side, he hadn't quite killed him. Which was good.

But Draco remembered the kindnesses that he had been granted by Hermione, Ron, Harry, and even Ginny during their month at Number 5, Private Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. He remembered how Hermione had turned his hair back to its normal color (A/N: for those of you who have not read the first story, _No Magic Allowed_, you should know that Ginny turned Malfoy's hair pink when he insulted Harry). He recalled how Ron gave him homework help. He remembered how Harry had talked to him they day Snape flew headfirst out of a car window when he accidentally drove the car into a fire hydrant. He could not forget Ginny's words of kindness, every so often.

So Draco went back to Hogwarts.

Who cared about Voldemort now? Draco had been tormented and hurt emotionally by his father before, and was not about to finish his mission to recover the last record of the Prophecy for him. Draco would make his own choices now; sod his father, wherever the heck he was, and serve him right.

For once, Voldemort could not find someone: Draco. As an accomplished Legilimens as Voldemort was, Draco was as accomplished at Occlumency, courtesy of his Aunt Bellatrix.

Therefore, Voldemort had, once more, been betrayed by a faithful Death Eater.

Snape was furious, but Draco thought as he walked along a deserted Hogsmeade road, _he's about four hundred fifty miles from here, so what'll he do to me?_

Anyway, let's go back to that terrible, awful thing that we were speaking of in the first sentence.

Since Snape had left Hogwarts to rejoin Voldemort, Dumbledore was, again, lacking in a DADA teacher.

He'd interviewed everyone he could think of, but no one really wanted to take up the post again.

Remus Lupin was afraid. Now that everyone knew that he was a werewolf, he was certain that because of him, the school would lose business, as not a lot or parents like werewolves teaching their children.

Alastor Moody hated most kids and had wanted to take the post of DADA teacher because it gave him a chance to spy on Igor Karkaroff.

Gilderoy Lockhart had lost his memory and was recovering in St. Mungo's so he was pretty useless.

Quirrel was dead, which didn't really help.

So Dumbledore tried other wizards.

Minerva McGonagall would have, only she was doing Transfiguration for the whole school, and really did not want the extra work.

Flitwick was afraid of anything to do with the Dark Arts. He did fight for the Order, but still, that didn't mean he wasn't afraid.

Pomona Sprout's worst subject while at Hogwarts was DADA.

If Professor McGonagall didn't want the extra work, there was no point in asking Horace Slughorn.

Nymphadora Tonks had recently gotten married to Remus Lupin (but kept her surname, as she was known by that) and was too wrapped up in love to care about DADA.

Dumbledore was desperate enough to ask Arthur Weasley to teach, but Mr. Weasley was too busy with his Ministry of Magic duties, as they had increased drastically with the war against Voldemort.

But one person volunteered…one person who was, well, not really brave enough, but one person who thought that she'd been treated unfairly and wanted to control DADA, as she had been fired from the Ministry and was lacking in power. If Dumbledore was lacking in a DADA teacher, she could have some control again, even if it was just a group of kids. _Dolores Umbridge returned to Hogwarts._

**A/N: **This story could prove interesting, I have to say.


	2. Chapter 2: Umbridge's First Class

**Disclaimer: **Oh dear. My name isn't J.K. Rowling, which means I don't own Harry Potter. What a surprise.

**Chapter 2: Umbridge's First Class**

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco ran into DADA class. They didn't want to be late on the first day with a new teacher, even if they detested her beyond all reason.

They scurried into their seats, at the back of the classroom, so they wouldn't be able to see Umbridge; all wanted to distance themselves as much as possible from her, well, everyone in that group save Malfoy. He had had a great deal of preferential treatment from said teacher, and had enjoyed it. Since he had become friends with Harry and his little group, he was on their side, though he couldn't say that he did not completely hate Umbridge. So, saying nothing, he took his seat in the back with Hermione, Ron, and Harry. A few moments later, Umbridge walked in, wearing her ugly pink cardigan and a very complacent, smug look, which Harry hated.

"Good afternoon, class!" she shrilled.

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," chanted the class, fully knowing what to expect from this teacher.

"Well, it's very nice to be seeing some of you again! My, how you all have grown!" She beamed around the classroom; her smile seemed glued onto her face. 

No one answered, so Umbridge continued. "And I'm sure you are very happy to see…HARRY! My dear, darling boy! How wonderful to see you again!"

Harry was bewildered. _Why the hell is she talking to me so nicely? I thought she hates me. Is it the whole Ministry thing and the Horcruxes? Wait, she doesn't know about the Horcruxes. She does know that I was with Dumbledore when Snape nearly killed him, though. And that I opened his coffin when he woke up and started banging on it. Idiot. _

Harry did not respond. Umbridge still smiled at him. Draco tried his luck. "Hello, Professor Umbridge! How are you?"

Umbridge's gaze never left Harry's face. She answered vaguely, "Oh, yes, erm, hello Malfoy." She then threw Draco a very ugly glance.

Draco was bewildered. _What did I do wrong? I was always nice to her. Oh. Is it because my father is a Death Eater? Look, lady, I really cannot help that. She's such a toad! _Realization hit him hard. _She only likes the people who are famous, or influential. Well, be that way. I hate you too. _

Umbridge continued. "Now, class, divide up into pairs and practice the Disarming charm. You should know the incantation." She smiled widely at Harry. "And some in this class have been very brave to use this against—He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." She smiled again and bustled off. Ron partnered Hermione and Draco was paired with Harry.

Draco had never used the Disarming charm, or if he did, he had completely forgotten it. He muttered out of the corner of his mouth, "What's the incantation again?"

"Expelliarmus."

They practiced Disarming for a few minutes. Harry was still confused, but there was another emotion under his confusion: anger.

"Why is she fawning over me all of a sudden? That is the last thing that I'd have expected from her!"

"Hm. She _used _to fawn on me. But since we've all found out that Father is a Death Eater…"

"She doesn't like you anymore," Harry finished.

"Exactly."

"I always knew that she was an old toad."

Draco was very much heartened and continued practicing the Disarming charm with Harry for the next hour of class.

But one question was running through their minds: _How long is this going to keep up and how long will it be until she starts with her theory nonsense again?_

**A/N: **I know that this is a boring chapter, but I'll try to improve the next one. This one was more of a transition.


	3. Chapter 3: Sooner than Expected

**Disclaimer: **(I hate this) I do not own Harry Potter! Now leave me alone!

**Chapter 4: Sooner than Expected**

A week later, Umbridge was entirely comfortable with her position at Hogwarts. Other teachers were not so happy. Professor McGonagall's nostrils flared every time Umbridge trilled a sickly sweet "Good morning!" and she refrained from answering. She also wished that her father hadn't taught her, as a little girl, never to punch people.

Professor Sprout grunted every time Umbridge said something to her.

Professor Slughorn pretended she did not exist.

Professor Flitwick avoided her like the plague.

Every time they were in the same hallway, Professor Trelawney sprinted past Umbridge, as if the Devil himself were after her.

Yes, Umbridge was as welcome as a hive of vicious wasps. But this did not bother her. She'd taken to fawning over Harry during classes, and cooing over the perfect hexes that he produced. So Harry had taken to pulling a Professor Trelawney whenever he saw Umbridge outside of class, and inside class, when he could get away with it.

But one day, the practical DADA lessons changed.

"Class, I know that Defensive Magical Theory was not on our booklist this year. But I think that you all have the idea of spells, and these spells should not really be performed in class, as they are extremely dangerous, as _Harry_ should know. " She smiled sweetly at Harry, who grimaced back. "I'll be lending you copies…" The class looked depressed.

"So, wands away and quills out please."

The class groaned audibly. Umbridge did not appear to notice. Hermione was livid. _What does that cow think she is doing? Dumbledore said that we have to practice magic! And the idiot is…I'll complain to Dumbledore…no I can't. He's hardly ever here! Okay, Umbridge…I'll complain TO her. _

Hermione raised her hand without any hesitation. Umbridge called on her with some reluctance, remembering how Hermione had stood up to her in her fifth year and how she had set the Forbidden Forest's centaurs on her.

"Yes dear?"

"With the war against Voldemort," Umbridge shuddered, "shouldn't we be practicing the spells, not simply studying the theory?"

"Now, really, do you expect to be attacked in my class?"

"Actually, Professor Umbridge, it can happen. It did last year, when we all were in sixth year; Death Eaters did come to this school and attempted to kill Dumbledore."

"Now, dear, you needn't really…"

"Professor Umbridge, _theory is really not going to help us at this point_."

"As I have said countless times before, if you have studied the theory hard enough…"

"Professor Lupin would have seen the importance of practical magic."

"Dangerous half-breeds' opinions should not be taught to Hogwarts students."

"He was NOT a dangerous half-breed!"

"Miss Granger, do you control this class?"

"No, but—"

"Therefore, you will not criticize my decisions. I think that theory is good enough. And I should let you know," she looked very menacing at this point, "the war against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is a _lie_, no matter what Dumbledore tells you, or what stupidity the Ministry is spouting off." She broke off looking upset.

Hermione wasn't finished. "A competent Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher would have realized the importance of practice, you know-nothing twit."

Umbridge turned red, then pale. "Detention, Miss Granger. Three days. Beginning tonight, you will come to my office at five thirty."

Hermione looked at her sternly, but said nothing.

As they left class, Ron and Harry were laughing hysterically, and Hermione was stomping and frowning.

Ron turned to Hermione. "That was awesome, Hermione! Didn't know that you had it in you!"

Hermione felt that this was a mixed blessing. _On one hand, I have detention with Umbridge for three days. I never get detention! God, I'm so stupid; what was I thinking? On the other hand, Ron is impressed with something other than my academics. Maybe…maybe…maybe…oh, don't get carried away, Hermione. It may not happen!_

She suddenly gasped and grabbed Harry and Ron by the elbows. "What?" they asked at the same time.

"I know why Umbridge got sacked. She's still disagreeing with them about the war against Voldemort. And they realized what she's been doing to the students…they kicked her out for that, and serve her right!"

The last time Harry had seen Hermione this angry was when she had attacked Ron with a flock of canaries.

Hermione continued. "What an idiot! She _knows_ she's outnumbered, and she's still…wow, she's really dim!"

Draco joined them, looking disgruntled. "What?" they asked, seeing his face.

"That toad's just taken fifteen points off because I bumped into her."

Harry looked sympathetic. "Guess she doesn't like Death Eaters."

"No."

"How're you hiding, anyway?"

"Hogwarts is a lot safer than you would imagine. Voldemort can't even come here without being stopped. Plus, I've fixed a few things, just to be on the safe side."

"Like…?"

"Occlumency, putting Memory charms on Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle, breaking the Vanishing Cabinet, so no one can get in through Borgin and Burke's, Modifying Madam Rosmerta's memory, concealing my Dark Mark…"

Ron gave Draco a strange look. "How are you managing that one?"

Draco turned pink. "I stole some of Pansy's concealer, or the whole tube."

Ron stifled his laughter.

Hermione had a gleam in her eyes. It was the type of look she had when talking about S.P.E.W., or when thinking about Ron, not unlike the look that Hagrid had when looking at Norbert or Madame Maxime

Harry was apprehensive. "What's up?"

Hermione smiled at him. "You do have that coin I gave you in fifth year for the DA, don't you? And you too, Ron?"

Ron was extremely perplexed. "Y-yes I should, somewhere in the depths of my trunk, but why?"

"Think about it Ronald."

"It was fun last year…"

"And we know that we will have quite a few members so far, Neville, Luna, Ginny, and us three," put in Harry.

Draco was offended. "Us three? What about me?"

Hermione grinned. "In fifth year, Draco darling, you tried to expel as many DA members as you could, remember that?"

Draco blushed. "Yeah, I remember. But can I come? I hate Umbridge."

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Since when?"

"She used to suck up to me a while ago. But now she hates me. She only likes the people who are influential. Even if she thinks that Voldemort's return is a lie, no one can deny the fact that my father is a Death Eater."

"Oh, so you hate her since she's hypocritical?"

"Basically, yes."

"Anyway, get your coins, and I'll notify as many DA members as I can. You guys go do that too."

She skipped away. _This is great, save the fact that I have detention. Harry can do the whole speech thing, because I have detention, but we can still learn DADA properly. Those ridiculous educational decrees have been banned and it's not like she can bring them back again. _

It seemed like the future was getting a little brighter.

**A/N: **Well, I think this chapter was much longer, if not extremely hilarious, but there was nothing really to laugh about here. I think the DA will be a little more interesting. Bear with me for a while, and I will have something more humorous. Yes, they are OOC, but I liked them that way. This is how I felt they should be like, so I changed them a little. Bye! Love from Naz.


	4. Chapter 4: The Return of the DA

**Disclaimer: **For the last time, I don't own Harry Potter.

**Chapter 4: A chapter in 2 parts: The Return of the DA and Ginny's Revenge **

Harry, Ron, and Hermione gathered as many former DA members as they could. Some could not be there however:

Fred and George had run away near the end of seventh year, but were very successful in their joke shop in Diagon Alley.

Angelina Johnson and Katie Bell had been taken on by England's Quidditch team. They were that good.

Alicia Spinnet decided to work in the Ministry in the Department of Magical Games and Sports, because she preferred that to goal scoring.

Cho Chang had gone off to Ireland to stop banshee attacks (don't ask).

Marietta Edgecombe followed in her mother's footsteps and went to work at the Ministry. She worked in the Floo Network (a terribly tedious job) and she had never really found the countercurse to Hermione's jinx while in sixth year, so she was lacking in an interesting life and a boyfriend. Poor Marietta.

Hannah Abbot had been taken away from Hogwarts, upon hearing of her mother's death.

Zacharias Smith was too standoffish and stuck up (Harry didn't even bother to tell him about the DA).

But many of the former DA members did come: the Creevey brothers, Colin and Dennis, Luna Lovegood (who was only too enthusiastic about the club), Neville Longbottom (who felt the same way that Luna did), Terry Boot, Ernie Macmillan, Susan Bones, Michael Corner, Ginny Weasley, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnegan, the Patil twins, Parvati and Padma, Anthony Goldstein, Lavender Brown (to Ron's annoyance), and some new additions: Demelza Robbins, Jimmy Peakes, Draco, Andrew Kirke, Jack Sloper, and Ritchie Coote.

Yes, it was very strange to see three Gryffindor students crossing the Great Hall to contact other students, but Umbridge was so complacent, she did not notice.

DA members were to gather in the Room of Requirement the following evening.

The next day, Hermione appeared at breakfast, looking extremely tired, her hand red.

Harry looked at her sympathetically. "What'd she make you write?"

"I must not strike out against authority."

"Hm. I feel for you, Hermione. It's just two more days though."

"I nearly got really behind on homework! I had two huge translations for Ancient Runes, and this book to read for Arithmancy…I was up until three last night!"

"Well, you see how it is."

"Definitely."

"Hey guys!" Ginny joined them. "What's wrong with your hand, Hermione?"

"You didn't know? I got detention with Umbridge for three days."

Ginny cracked up. "_You? You got detention? How funny is that?"_

"Not funny if she makes you slice your hand open and write with your own blood."

Ginny was confused. "Huh?"

So Hermione explained.

Ginny was outraged. "What an old bat! I am so glad the DA's reforming, because she deserves whatever disrespect we give her."

Hermione smiled weakly and Ginny plowed on. "I will make her regret that; believe me."

When Ginny says this, you do not take it lightly.

Umbridge went out that afternoon to Hogsmeade. There was a nice, little café that she liked. It was called Madam Puddifoot's and was sophisticated and neat (in her eyes). Ginny saw her opportunity.

She crept into Umbridge's office at about two in the afternoon, during her free period. She had caught up on all her work, so she had time. She had "borrowed" Neville's prized plant: the one that squirted nasty, green liquid if prodded hard. She also had stolen Crabbe's wand to make as much mischief as possible and not get caught with the Priori Incantatem spell. An hour later she left. Umbridge came back about ten minutes later. They passed each other in the hall. Another idea sprung into Ginny's head. _Thank you Professor McGonagall! Your Transfiguration skills are assisting me! _With a nonverbal spell, she directed her wand at Umbridge's head and…Umbridge had long, white hair, as white as Dumbledore's. Umbridge did not notice.

Yet.

Sure enough, as Ginny sprinted down the hall with a broad grin on her face, she heard a loud shriek, as did Professor McGonagall, who came running to her office. She held back a gale of laughter.

The office was a disaster. But it was an amusing disaster (courtesy of Ginny). Soot had been tracked all over the pink carpet, the walls were black, green pools of slime were on every flat surface, owl droppings were all over the folders, and two noisy bats swooped around the room. But this was the best part: Ginny let Peeves in, just before she left. Peeves had always had respect for the Weasley twins, and seeing their sister follow in their footsteps was a delight. He was only too glad to assist Ginny. So he was busy etching out rude words onto the desk, juggling vases that formerly held dried flowers (which had been replaced with dead insects from the Potions students' cupboard).

Professor McGonagall didn't feel like helping Umbridge clean up; she decided to watch her struggle to catch Peeves and the bats. Umbridge had white hair still, but did not notice. She screamed loudly when Peeves shoved her prized pink cardigan into one of the nasty vases. Professor McGonagall, luckily, had a camera hidden in her robes and surreptitiously began snapping away.

"Hm," she chortled as she left, "it's a good thing I keep this with me sometimes. Drat! I have a class now, better run."

So Umbridge spent her day trying to fix her office.

Hermione caught a glimpse of the office and smiled widely. _Ginny did a pretty good job. _

At six o'clock sharp, the members of the first DA, and the new ones, gathered in the Room of Requirement.

Demelza was awed. "Wow! What is this place?"

Harry explained. Draco knew the Room very well, having used it for his evil planning as a sixth year. But Draco, the reformed Death Eater wanted to help defend his friends, funnily enough. _Who cares about Father? Who cares about Snape? Are they here? No. _

Harry decided, "Okay, so here we are, Dumbledore's Army, or the DA."

Everyone showed his or her enthusiasm by nodding or even clapping. Harry continued, "I've taught you all as many jinxes as I know, except some useful hexes that come in handy. But we should try to research some more…for practice."

Everyone agreed enthusiastically. For the first hour, they practiced Stunning, Disarming, and Patronuses. Thanks to Harry's good instruction, the majority of the group had gotten the hang of Patronuses, even Neville. Ron finally produced one as well—it looked like a weasel, ironically. Luna's looked like an owl. Draco's was a cute kitten.

Hermione tried not to laugh at it.

Harry taught them the incantation for the Furnunculus Curse, but they didn't practice this one, not wanting to come in droves to the Hospital Wing with nasty fungus-like growths on their faces.

In the last hour, they researched more jinxes and curses. Harry discovered a great find: the Rebounding Spell, which, according to _Blocking the Unforgivable_, would work on the Cruciatus Curse and the Imperius Curse.

Hermione found the countercurse for Sectumsempra. Snape had made up that spell in his fifth year at Hogwarts and had taught it to all the Death Eaters, upon joining. Voldemort rejoiced in this find, and found the countercurse, which had been revealed in _Discovering the Newly Discovered_. Hermione realized that the Death Eater who'd been trapped in the bell jar of Time in the Ministry had used it on her, and she would have bled to death, had the Death Eater actually used his voice for this, which would cause its effects to be much stronger. The countercurse was a funny sort of wave with the incantation, Iuvo.

After noting these finds and listing the others that had been found, Hermione extracted a piece of parchment from her bag, wrote DA on top, and insisted that all members sign it, and agree not to expose the club in any way.

The list was complete. Hermione tucked it into her bag carefully, as opposed to pinning it onto the wall, which was not amazingly safe, as proved by fifth year when Draco had discovered it on the wall.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny knew that she had jinxed it again. But it could have been a different one. With Hermione, who knew?

The future brightened a little. More.

A/N: Any ideas for more disasters involving our toad-like teacher? Thanks.


	5. Chapter 5: Ginny's Getting Started

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter

**Chapter 5: Ginny's Just Getting Started…**

When Umbridge walked into the Great Hall the next day, she was greeted with snickering and laughs. No one even bothered to be discreet. Umbridge was puzzled. What happened?

What on earth was going on? Funny things were happening all over the place now. Her office was still a wreck (she hadn't managed to drive Peeves out, and the teachers weren't making it much easier, as they preferred to stare and snicker) and now people were laughing at her. Was something stuck in her teeth? No, she hadn't eaten. She hadn't done her hair either. Maybe it was sticking up.

Well, of course, the students were laughing at Umbridge's white hair. But no one was planning to enlighten her. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her…much.

Harry, especially, wasn't planning to tell Umbridge that she looked as if she aged about forty years, considering the fact that she tried to perform the Cruciatus Curse on him two years ago.

Instead, everyone laughed, even Pansy, who was still being favored by Umbridge. Professor McGonagall got out her camera again. Dumbledore didn't appear to have a reaction, but Harry could swear he saw a small smile under that silver beard.

Umbridge did not get to see her new style…until she glanced into the mirror in her classroom while Ginny's class silently took notes on the most basic hexes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ginny smiled to herself. Unfortunately, Umbridge saw. "What are you smiling at, Miss Weasley?"

"N-nothing, Professor Umbridge."

"I saw you smiling, and therefore, you must be lying. Detention tonight, Miss Weasley, at five thirty sharp!"

Ginny grimaced. _What an old toad. I suppose she'll make me slice my hand open tonight…no way! That's not fair! Oh, she will regret this, believe me._

Which, dear reader, she did indeed.

Ginny ran off to dinner to bolt down something quickly. Ron looked at her strangely. "Erm, Ginny, are you okay?"

"I've got detention with that toad, Umbridge, in an hour. I hate her!"

Hermione looked at her sympathetically. "We can go down together. At least _you_ only have one day. I've got tonight and tomorrow."

"It still sucks."

"Well, the only way we're getting out of it is if she dies…"

"That's it!"

"GINNY!"

"What?"

"IF SHE DIES?"

"Oh, no…but that's actually not a bad idea."

"Ginny."

"Sorry. But I just thought of something. Listen…"

Umbridge was in her office, trying not to notice her white hair. _I still look pretty good otherwise. The bow sets off my hair nicely. Those troublesome girls, Miss Granger and Miss Weasley, should be here in a few minutes._ She walked over to the door and grabbed the doorknob to get something quick to eat. However, she found that _she could not push open the door. _Umbridge was locked inside her office.

Outside the office, Ron and Ginny were silently wheezing with laughter.

"Ron, should we put another chair there, just in case?"

"Yeah, okay, she will break it open at some point. Best leave her in there as long as possible; maybe a week or two?."

A pile of chairs, a couple desks, and a bureau from the classroom next to Umbridge's office now stood in front of her door, preventing anyone from leaving the office, namely Umbridge. Hermione had consented to performing a tricky little charm to lock the door, and had used the Locomotor charm to move the furniture in front of the office.

Umbridge banged on her door in desperation. _How long am I going to be stuck here? _At this point, her office had been cleared up, but she had forgotten one thing: Peeves. Being locked in a room with Peeves is not a good thing, reader. And if Peeves realizes that you are in a predicament, he will make things a lot worse, which he did. He crept behind the desk, grabbed an inkbottle, and emptied the contents onto Umbridge's head.

"AAAAAARRRRGH!"

Professor Sprout had come by to see what trouble there was. Upon hearing Umbridge's screams, she chuckled softly and waddled back to her plants, winking at Ginny, who smiled back.

Umbridge was stuck there all night and all of the next day and into the night as well. Professor McGonagall was not feeling very well disposed to her and didn't let her out; neither did Professor Sprout. Actually, Slughorn, by some miracle, was feeling sympathetic and used the Locomotor charm to move all the furniture away and unlocked her door. Peeves had swooped out the window and was not causing any more havoc in there.

(You are probably wondering how she survived in there, well, by hiding in her bathroom, as Peeves would not go in there, as much as he despised her, and making her own food. She still had her wand, didn't she? But she wouldn't be able to move furniture away from her door when she was on the other side)

**A/N:** Like with "No Magic Allowed", I'm writing most of this during my five-day weekend, because I'm cool like that, and I'm staggering the posting. I can't post at home on this computer (as I have said countless times) because I'm not connected to the Internet at home (on this computer), but I am in other places. Anyone think someone should steal Umbridge's wand, or her cardigan? Tell me, please. Thank you! I know you all hate Americanisms, but I AM NOT BRITISH! DEAL! Sorry about that. But I really don't know that stuff.


	6. Chapter 6: The DA's members

**Disclaimer: **I do not, do not, and do not own Harry Potter

**Chapter 6: Memories of the DA and some of its more Erratic Members**

Umbridge's classes were as boring as ever, but the DA made up for it, big time. Meetings were memorable and all of the students dwelled on the funnier or most triumphant moments during their more tedious lessons. Harry felt that he was doing quite well as a teacher.

There was a time during a DA meeting when they were practicing Disarming. Dennis Creevey was extremely enthusiastic, but not amazingly good at aiming. He hit a heavy textbook, which leapt off the shelf…and landed on Seamus Finnegan's head, knocking him out.

"Oh! I'm sorry! He'll be okay, won't he Harry? Will he? Huh?"

"Yeah, sure he'll be fine." But Harry was actually not that sure. Hermione, luckily, sprang forward and was able to revive him, with a neat stream of ice water from her wand.

"Ahh!"

"Well, we know he's awake," Hermione said cheerfully.

Seamus just looked irritated and went back to Disarming Dean, with whom he was practicing.

Another time, Neville accidentally said the wrong incantation and ended up giving Ginny some fangs, which she was not particularly pleased about. Luckily, Hermione could easily solve that issue.

Ginny did not speak to Neville for the rest of the meeting.

Colin Creevey once produced a very good Reductor curse, but ended up reducing Padma Patil's favorite bracelet to dust and singeing her hair, that Hermione could not fix.

Luna Lovegood did not seem to be improving on her Jelly-Legs Jinx, but after three meetings, she caused Ron to wobble around the room at top speed. Hermione, again, solved this problem, but Ron was completely unsteady for the next hour, which showed how good Luna's jinx had been.

Ernie Macmillan had a tendency to do some extremely unnecessary flourishing with his wand, which flew out of his hand one meeting, hitting Dean very hard in his rear end. Dean was not happy when he found a long, blue line there, later on.

However erratic or unpredictable some of the DA members were, Harry was extremely impressed with them one day when they performed some of the most amazing Defense magic he'd ever seen, and as a group.

At the end of Harry's fifth year, some DA members had seen Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle attack Harry in the Hogwarts Express and fought back with some amazing skill, turning the three into things that looked like slugs.

As Harry walked down the hallway out of the Room of Requirement after a DA meeting one day, Pansy Parkinson, Crabbe, Goyle, Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott jumped out at him, preparing to hex him. Unfortunately for them, Harry had taught more members a wider variety of curses, hexes, spells, and jinxes. And the members were filing out of the room from behind Harry. Realizing what was about to happen, the DA utilized everything they had learned in the meetings, save the Sectumsempra curse. Cries of, "Furnunculus!" "Expelliarmus!" "Stupefy!" and other incantations filled the air. Luna even produced a very good, but unnecessary Patronus.

If it was possible, the four Slytherins looked even worse than Crabbe and Goyle had when attacked by the DA in fifth year. The DA members just left them there and carried on, not caring who or what found them. After all, they were only hexing in self-defense, right?

Some DA members (including Ginny, Luna, and the Creeveys) surreptitiously hit Umbridge with a Jelly-Legs jinx. Umbridge was not very skilled in the Defense area; so she wobbled around for a day, to the delight of the school, save her favorite Slytherins.

However, one tragic day, Dumbledore left the school in search of something that had to do with Horcruxes. So Umbridge sat herself in her office and called herself headmistress. Again. This was another audacious attempt to hurt Dumbledore as headmaster. The teachers were appalled; what would they do now?

But Umbridge would have no idea as to what was coming,…


	7. Chapter 7: Draco's Idea

**Disclaimer:** (Oh dear Lord) I do not own Harry Potter

**Chapter 7: Draco's Idea (which is actually not _his _idea, because… oh just read it)**

Umbridge was depressed. When your own students barricade you in your office, you know you're doing something wrong. However, this thought had not occurred to Umbridge. She thought that she was just amazing! What had gotten into her students? _Nasty little beasts. _See, she hated them, anyway. _They are awful. I know it's the students. Who else could it be? _

She had no idea what was in store. This will come in a later chapter. First, reader, let us turn to each student in turn.

Harry was overjoyed. Ginny was an amazing person. _How does she think up this stuff? I blame Fred and George. But they have had a somewhat positive influence on her, in that respect. I guess that's a good thing. Maybe she can drive Umbridge away from the school. _

Hermione had that rare, rebellious feeling. _Who does she think she is…setting herself up in this school, as if she were actually the headmistress? Not even in her dreams. _She was also kind of happy, since Ron seemed to like her more. He had told her that she was amazing for finally rebelling through her reformation of the former Defense group. Oh yes, Umbridge's lessons were still terrible; they were rereading Defensive Magical Theory by that idiot author, Wilhelm, or Wilbert Slinky, or Sleazy, or whatever. She was still working on Ron.

Ron had mixed feelings. He was happy about the whole Ginny-pranked-Umbridge thing, but he was feeling extremely guilty as well. For, unknown to Hermione (and fortunately so), he had been making out with Lavender when Lavender suddenly rushed at him in a deserted corridor. It's not that he was extremely willing; he just hadn't really done much to stop her. _What will Hermione do if she finds out? Oh God! What if she does find out?_

Ron and Hermione were stuck in that uncomfortable position of two people who like each other, but are constantly bickering, and fight even more, to conceal any feeling of love for the other. Dear, dear, what a shame.

Ginny was extremely popular in the Gryffindor common room. And she had won sixty points from Sprout, who had heard of the whole incident from Professor McGonagall.

But Draco had another idea to get rid of Umbridge, for a while at least. (A/N: I'm taking a suggestion from MadnessLover. Thank you so much! I will get to the other ideas, but this one seemed to fit in with the course of the story) He talked to Harry the next day.

"Hey, do you still speak, erm, Parseltongue?"

"Yeah…what's it to you?"

"Well, I was wondering if the Chamber of Secrets should be…"

"Opened? Why? The Basilisk is dead, I mean, what would be the point of letting it out and setting it on Umbridge, or whatever the heck you were planning to do with it?"

"No, no, no. I was thinking of something like shutting Umbridge in it, but if the Basilisk were alive, setting it on Umbridge is not a bad idea."

"DRACO! I am NOT shutting Umbridge into the Chamber!"

"Fine. Anyway, Voldemort had given me the gift of Parseltongue, while I was his faithful servant."

"Not so faithful, considering that you are literally hiding from him, are you?" asked Harry with a grin.

"Shut up. _I'll_ lock her in the Chamber, if you won't."

"Why'd you ask me in the first place then?"

"I didn't want to get in trouble if you agreed. But, thinking on it, I really don't care at this point."

"Do what you like, but remember, it was _your _idea."

"Hm. Supportive friend that you are, _Potter_."

"Whatever, _Malfoy_."

Draco smiled. "Actually, this wasn't technically my idea. Ginny told me to do it."

"Hm. Why am I not surprised?"

"I wasn't. Remember how she kept trying to kill me when we were stuck in that Muggle house? I think that in the entire time, I had pink hair, was nearly concussed several times, thanks to being strapped to the car roof, though that was Hermione's idea, burned myself on a stove, and ate some weird hand cream."

"Of course."

Grinning, the boys sprinted to the girls' bathroom in which Harry and Ron had first discovered the Chamber of Secrets in their second year at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, Myrtle still resided there. She looked at both boys, as they entered, and burst into tears.

"YOU BOTH SAID YOU'D VISIT ME AND LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! HARRY COMES BACK YEARS LATER, AND DRACO DOESN'T COME BACK TILL THE NEXT YEAR! I HATE YOU BOTH!"

She dove upwards and into her toilet, with a loud sob, splashing Draco and Harry with stagnant water, that had also contained urine, which some unkind person had not bothered to rid the toilet of with a simple device called a flusher. How nice.

Harry shook water and waste off like a wet dog. Draco was frantically drying his platinum blond hair, which now smelled like…well, you get the idea.

Harry walked over to the sinks. He found the tap on which was etched a little snake. "Here you go, Draco."

But Malfoy was paying no attention. "AHH! HUMAN WASTE! IT'S ALL OVER ME! GET—IT—OFF! ARGH!" He brushed through his hair quickly, like a crazed monkey, jumping up and down all the while. Harry started laughing.

Draco glared. "Oh, you think that's funny? Wait till I…"

"Sorry," said Harry quickly. "I found the sink for you. Go to it."

He left the bathroom, before Draco could get his revenge for Harry's laughing at him.

Draco stood by the sink. _Now how do you say, 'open up,' again? Oh yeah…_ Draco made some strange, otherworldly, hissing noises. Suddenly a there was a creaking sound, and…

A small girl with light brown hair had opened the door and walked into the bathroom; she saw Draco hissing at the sink, his face red and screwed up in concentration. She raised her eyebrows and strolled into a stall. She walked out after she was finished, washed her hands, looked at Draco as if she was going to laugh, and walked out of the bathroom, giggling hysterically. _That should be outlawed,_ thought Draco, angrily.

He scowled, and resumed attempting to open the Chamber.

On the third try, he succeeded. The chipped, marble sinks slid apart to reveal a man-sized hole that plunged deep, deep down into nothingness. Draco smiled. _Excellent. _He walked nonchalantly out of the bathroom. _Now to get Umbridge in there. _

However, something broke his lighthearted mood. As he sauntered down the hallway, a group of girls pointed and giggled at him. One of the girls was that small one who had seen him in the bathroom.

And for some reason, according to Hermione (who told him at dinner), a ridiculous rumor had spread throughout the school that Draco Malfoy had been invading a girls' toilet, threatening to take it over in a mad hissing fit.

Draco was furious.

**A/N: **I had previously been thinking about putting the Umbridge's whole adventure in here, but that chapter would be too long, and people would really be getting bored with the story. So I'm putting it into two chapters, so no one would get too bored. Anyway, spring break is coming up soon, and I am so excited! Two weeks of freedom! Is everyone psyched? I won't be updating, though, because I have no connection. Maybe I'll finish the story before break, and start something new, when I can think about it. Or I'll make this into some strange trilogy, but maybe not. Hmm. That's definitely something to think about over the next couple weeks. Bye guys!


	8. Chapter 8: Umbridge's little adventure 1

**Disclaimer:** Oh my. My name is not J.K. Rowling. What a surprise. (Voice dripping with more sarcasm than usual, which says something) I guess that means that I don't own Harry Potter. Watch me start swearing in one of these darn disclaimers pretty soon. In the meantime, I hope you like the next chapter. And, p.s., I do not own Centerfold (I love that song! Way to go, J. Geils Band!)

**Chapter 8: Umbridge's Little Adventure (part 1)**

The next day, Draco tore down the hall yelling, "Professor Umbridge! Professor Umbridge! Come quickly! Help!"

Umbridge came out of her office wearing pink curlers, a foul pink dressing gown, and an irritated frown on her fat face. "What is it, Mr. Malfoy?"

"There's—there's—there's this HUGE hole in the bathroom downstairs! I know it's a girls' bathroom, but I heard something, and I had to check it out, and this—this—this—hole was there!"

Umbridge had mixed feelings. On one hand, she was too scared to go and too tired. Anything could be in that hole. And she really did not feel like going all the way down to the first floor and solving something. But on the other hand, if she did solve "the mystery of the giant hole," it would seem as though she was getting something done in her regime as "headmistress" of Hogwarts. She could actually have some power! Hmm, tricky choice…she opted for the latter.

"Lead the way, Draco."

Draco was excited. _Yes! Excellent! Brilliant! I love you Ginny! Actually, I don't and can't; Harry would kill me. _

Resisting the temptation to jump up and down like some hyperventilating chimpanzee, Draco calmly, or almost calmly, led Umbridge to the bathroom.

Fortunately for him, Umbridge was too excited to solve the issue that she didn't notice it was a girls' bathroom. Otherwise, she'd probably think, _what on earth was he doing in the girls' bathroom?_ But she didn't.

In a businesslike manner, she stepped up to the hole, looking ridiculous in her curlers. "Well, Mr. Malfoy, this seems to be—" Draco crept up behind her and gently pushed…

"Well, I believe we'll have Mr. Filch, what the—AHHH!" She tumbled down the hole and out of sight, screeching loudly.

Draco skipped out of the bathroom, surprisingly. The brown-haired girl was, unfortunately, passing by as he exited. She looked at him for a moment, and laughed, running down the hallway.

Draco swore. _Why must she always catch me coming out of that bathroom? Oh well. Umbridge is gone. Umbridge is gone. Umbridge is gone. Umbridge is gone. Umbridge is gone. Umbridge is gone. Umbridge is gone… _

Hermione had a free period. She actually had nothing to study, and absolutely no homework. _Good. Maybe I'll have a break. I can read that new book Mum sent me. _

Draco had stopped skipping and now he was singing at a wall and dancing. This time, it was not "Walking on Sunshine." It was "Centerfold."

_I've got a free; I've got a free…_

"The memory of my angel will never cause me pain."

_Where did I put that book anyway? _

"The years go by and I'm looking through all these girly magazines! And there's my whole new angel on the pages in between!"

_What is that awful sound?_

"My blood runs cold! My memory has just been sold; my angel is my centerfold…angel is my centerfold…"

_Who the heck…"_

"Na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na…"

_I am so scared at this point. What on earth is going on?_

"I was shy, I turned away before she caught my eye. I was shaking in my shoes, whenever she flashed those baby blues."

_Oh God. I don't want to think this but it sounds like…_

"My blood runs cold! My memory has just been sold; the angel is my centerfold… my angel is my centerfold!"

"Draco?"

"HERMIONE!"

"What—what are you doing?"

Draco looked incredibly sheepish. _Why do all these girls have to catch me at something stupid! Why, why, why? Ginny, that little girl, now Hermione…"_

He stuttered at her. "I was erm, you know, had to just, erm, do, practice, for the, well, I was just trying to see, the fact remains that, I was, erm, just, well was maybe, erm, not expecting, err, not just, um, well, I, only, erm, you see I…nothing." He broke off.

Hermione started laughing hysterically and walked off snorting with laughter.

Draco was humiliated beyond belief.

Umbridge had landed on a pile of what seemed like rat skulls and the skeletons of other unfortunate creatures that had been devoured cruelly by the Basilisk. She carefully lifted her lace-edged nightgown of the remains of little rodents and, holding her nose with one hand, tiptoed down the passageway, away from the Chamber's bathroom entrance.

A foul stench continued to worsen as she moved forward. The walls were grimy and dirty. They had a greenish tinge. It was too dim to see much. Umbridge walked into something. "OUCH!" It was a stone wall. The passage had turned. There was a little more light, which also had a greenish tinge. She continued on…

Professor McGonagall always hated Umbridge, but she wondered where she had gotten to. Ah well, her loss. Still, didn't she usually sleep late on Saturday? Hmm, how strange…

Draco had told Ron, Hermione, and Ginny about his "amazing deed."

"Isn't it great!"

Hermione was torn between amusement and lividness. "Draco! You idiot! You know she'll blame you!"

"Ah, Hermione, hence the beauty of Memory Charms."

"Well…I suppose…"

"Suppose what? Of course it'll work! I wasn't a Death Eater for a year without learning anything! Was I?"

"Whatever. You'd better not go back. But still…isn't that wrong?"

"How many things has _she_ done that had been right?"

"Well…"

"Exactly."

"I didn't say anything yet!"

"So? You were going to agree with me."

"How do you know?"

Ron was looking at Hermione with distinct admiration. Surreptitiously, Ginny whistled. Ron turned red; Hermione looked away. Draco grinned.

A/N: The rest is coming soon! Lot's of love.


	9. Chapter 9: Umbridge's Adventure 2

**Disclaimer: **What am I supposed to say here? I don't know…J.K Rowling beats me up…

OK, OK! I don't own Harry Potter! Satisfied? (Poor Naz)

**Chapter 9: Umbridge's Little Adventure (part 2)**

It was dark. It was cold. It was wet. Umbridge continued on and on. She kept walking…and walking…and walking. Three curlers had fallen out and her robe had altered from pink flannel to grey sludge.

A silver-black vapour had arisen. Umbridge was scared. She didn't like the dark, and liked it much less when a damp mist was enclosing her like a fist.

Her nasty, puffy eyes stared about in terror. _What have I done to deserve this?_ The answer was: a lot.

She ran (or rather, waddled quickly, as she was a little too tubby and lacking in exercise to run that fast) and looked plenty ridiculous. Suddenly, an incredibly foul odor reached her nostrils…she crept ahead…there was a great, white, giant _snakeskin_.

Umbridge passed out.

Dumbledore came back to the school (at last) and took one look at the place. He actually gave permission for the teachers, students, ghosts, and house elves to do as much as they liked, while Umbridge was there, to get the new "headmistress" away from the school.

He left with a small smile hidden in his silver beard. Professor McGonagall lost all dignity at these words and jumped up and down with Professor Sprout. Slughorn got a bottle of mead out of his stash and got drunk (typical Slughorn). Hagrid ran off to tell Buckbeak. Trelawney broke out into song ("God bless our gracious queen, long live our noble queen, God save our queen") and, like Slughorn, celebrated with liquor. Flitwick danced around.

So the teachers were happy. What about the students? And the whole Dumbledore's-declaration-of-an-anti-Umbridge-thing…what great things would be expected from Peeves? Well, reader, this is why you must continue this story. You'll never find out otherwise (A/N: grin)

Meanwhile, in the library…

"Draco Abraxas Malfoy, I cannot believe you did that."

"Oh, lighten up, Hermione. What did you think I would do?"

"And Virginia Weasley…I am ashamed," Hermione continued, smiling.

Ginny smiled at her, wickedly. Harry was proud of her for that. It seemed as though Umbridge would be gone for a long, long, blissful period of time.

Draco smiled at Hermione. There was a lot of smiling going around, save the frown on Ron's face.

Ron was looking jealously at the beaming Hermione and Draco. He gave the evil eye to Draco, and a quick hand-gesture that was extremely unkind. Fortunately, Draco did not see this small, but oh so explicit, movement.

Hermione was not an idiot. She knew that Ron was staring. Lately, while keeping her top grades, she had been finding ways to dress nicely, style her hair, and add a little bit of makeup. While some girls (cough, cough, Pansy) slathered makeup on themselves, so their faces looked rather like an explosion in a paint factory, Hermione added enough that was tasteful and well, nice-looking.

Ron was trying to be nicer as well. He was actually washing his robes (for once), combing his hair (not that it helped), getting much better grades (Hermione totally noticed that), and didn't yell or swear (as much).

Hermione decided to play hard-to-get. All girls seemed to be doing that. Lavender was totally indiscreet (rushing up to some poor boy, while knocking over several other people, and eating his face in broad daylight is not the best way to maintain a healthy relationship, girls). So she could be "more strange," as Shakespeare so eloquently puts it in Romeo and Juliet.

Flirting with Draco was not quite her option, and Draco was definitely not interested, but when boys have a certain fixation, they turn every little attention from other members of their gender into a big deal. So Ron was not entirely happy with Draco.

Umbridge woke up. There was a maggot in her hair. She screamed bloody murder. Suddenly, she looked ahead. An enormous, putrid carcass was sitting six feet away from her, with a snakeskin next to it. White maggots crawled around it, eating the flesh in loud gulps. Umbridge's eyes rolled back into her head…she passed out again.

She was going to be in there for a while longer…

Harry and Ron walked down the hallway. Suddenly, a scratching noise was issuing from the wall. Ron jumped about fifty feel into the air. "What the bloody hell is that?"

Harry wasn't sure, but somehow, he thought that he knew.

Umbridge had gotten to the side of the Chamber. There was a grimy metal grille in front if her. She pushed and it came loose. She met another metal grille, which she pushed loose. However, it clanged back into place when she walked through to another portion of the Chamber.

She was stuck.

On her other side was a dark, dirty wall. There was a small crack through which she saw some light that was not green or grey. She put her eye against it. Yes, yes that was most definitely the corridor outside the Great Hall. Umbridge proceeded to bang and kick the wall as much as possible. _Only two things will happen here_ she thought happily. _Either someone will hear me and help me out of this place, or I'll break down the wall and get out. Both are good. But I hope someone gets me out. I prefer that one. _

Well, Ron had heard Umbridge. Only he thought it was Peeves, as did Filch who came to investigate the strange, muffled noise. So…

With his Seal-All Cement, Filch plugged up the hole. Calling out a rude oath to "Peeves" and laughing maniacally, Filch hobbled away, clearly in a rare good mood. Oh dear. What will happen to Umbridge?

**A/N: **I am so happy right now. Spring Break is coming up soon and I am psyched. Two weeks of _no school_. As Kool and the Gang says, "Celebrate good times, come on!" or there's Madonna, "Holiday! Celebrate!" But I like Kool and the Gang's quote better in this case.


	10. Chapter 10: Finally out! And

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter. Happy? Short, sweet, and to the point.

**Chapter 10: A chapter in 2 parts: Out of There (at last) and new Sparks**

Umbridge was frustrated. Why the heck had the crack suddenly sealed itself? That was just obnoxious. She proceeded to bang some more.

Finally, Filch, who was equally frustrated with the banging noises of "Peeves", took a hatchet to the wall, a desperate measure to get to that damn poltergeist.

But instead of a grinning ghost, Filch was surprised to find himself face-to-face with a tired-looking teacher, who was also covered in God knows what and wearing a livid expression.

Harry, Ron, and Draco were standing behind and saw Umbridge climb out of the wall, in her nasty dressing gown. They quickly walked away, snickering. Once they had reached two floors above the whole scene, they burst out laughing and didn't stop for ten minutes.

Meanwhile, Umbridge grabbed Filch's hatchet and chased him as fast as possible, for blocking her only path back into the castle. Professor McGonagall watched the scene with amusement. It was quite funny. Umbridge was waddling along, as fast as she could, holding the hatchet with an angry look in her eyes. What curlers she had left were flying out of her hair. Filch was hobbling away and wheezing, looking quite frightened. Mrs. Norris followed both of them.

Professor McGonagall took a picture and ran off smiling (a rarity).

Harry checked his watch. "Time for the DA."

The boys ran off to the Room of Requirement.

Hermione was inside with Ginny and Luna. Ginny rose from her cushion and came over to Harry. "Did you see Umbridge and Filch?"

"I saw Umbridge climb out of the wall, but that was it. That was funny."

"I mean after."

"…"

"You didn't see?"

"See what?"

So Ginny told them about the chase. They all laughed hysterically (again). Very soon after, the door opened, admitting several snickering, snorting, laughing, giggling, howling, you name it, students.

Harry reviewed the Reductor curse with them. Parvati's was always very good. Neville blasted a hole through one of the shelves. Colin Creevey blasted a hole through the book, _Jinxes for the Jinxed _(Hermione screamed). Luna blasted a hole through Draco's hat. Draco was not pleased.

Ron was doing quite well. "Hey—Harry, I just—aw, you missed it."

"Huh?"

"Look!"

The shelf containing several Defense books was a smoldering ruin. Hermione fainted. Ron realized what his amazing Reductor had done, and his happy energy seemed to fade away. "Well, it was a good curse."

Harry smiled. "It was. Don't worry; she come 'round soon enough."

Ginny saw her friend on the floor and thought _I need Harry's whistle_ as hard as she could. A silver whistle appeared at her feet. Ginny stooped to pick it up. Pushing her way through the small group of people clustered around Hermione, she knelt down next to her. Taking a deep breath, she blew the whistle directly in Hermione's left ear.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!"

"Hello. Guess you're up."

"No. Kidding. But really, Ginny, couldn't you have woken me up in a more civil manner, as in, _without a whistle_?"

"Sorry, Hermy."

"Oh shut up."

"Hey! I like that name for you! Isn't that what Grawp calls you?"

"No. Freaking. Way."

"Ha! That's it! Hermy! I'm calling you Hermy from now on. Feel better, Hermy!" And with a whoop of laughter, Ginny danced away. Hermione rubbed her head and glared after her.

The DA meeting ended. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were the last to leave the room. Harry knew of Ron's secret liking of Hermione (it was kind of obvious, with the angry looks he'd been giving Draco earlier on). And Hermione's teasing glances were not exactly all that discreet (though she definitely intended them to be).

Harry left quickly, leaving the two in the room. Alone. Together. Together, they were alone in the Room of Requirement. Harry was gone. Hermione cleared her throat. Ron kicked the floor. Both spoke at once.

"Let's g—"

"D'you w—"

"Sorry, you go, Ron."

"No, _you_ go on," answered Ron, looking very eager.

Hermione looked at him and said, "Well, let's go; it's getting late."

Ron's energy (again) dropped out of him like a stone into water. "Oh, okay. Yeah. It's um, late, so we'll yeah. Go. Like you said, we'll just…go."

Hermione glanced at him strangely. "You okay?"

"Sure, fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Hermione raised her eyebrows, but made no answer. As she reached for the doorknob, Ron called out (rather loudly), "Hermione, wanna go to the next Hogsmeade trip with me? Please?"

Hermione started. She was flustered, flattered, shy, et cetera. "Oh!" She blushed. "Oh! Erm, no, I no-um, don't can't no, no, erm, not, don't go, with—yes. I'd love to go with you, Ron." She turned crimson and ran back to Gryffindor common room.

Ron grinned to himself. _I've still got it! _He jumped up and down a couple times, to let out a little excitement,

As he walked out of the Room, Umbridge rushed past him, with a hatchet and a very angry look on her face. Ron raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He skipped back to the common room to tell Harry.


	11. Chapter 11: The Impression

**Disclaimer:** Oh dear God. How many times do I have to say that I do not own Harry Potter? Gosh!

**Chapter 11: _The_ Impression**

Ron was walking on sunshine (appropriate song, 'Walking on Sunshine' by Katrina and the Waves; love the song, as you can clearly tell, reader). He and Hermione would be going out today, the Saturday Hogsmeade trip. Ron was very excited.

Harry was happy for Ron and Hermione. He was also a little frightened; what would happen if they started arguing? But hey, they were okay right now.

Ginny thought it extremely amusing that Ron and Hermione were now planning to go out. _Unlikely couple. My swearing, obnoxious, possessive brother is going with the sophisticated brains of Hogwarts. How hilarious is that?_

As much as Hermione did not want to admit it, she was extremely excited to go out with Ron. She was floating on air. She really felt as if she could just fly out the window. _Yes! I've gotten a date! What should I wear? _

Hermione's forte was not quite clothes. She dressed well, but very casually. This day was important. This day was the day to make the impression. This needed…

"Ginny? Can you help me?"

Ginny beamed. She wanted this date to be very successful. It would be incredibly sweet and hilarious at the same time. Plus, Hermione was her friend. She would help her.

"Sure, Hermy."

"Stuff it."

"Hmm, testy, testy, are we not? Okay, what do you have?"

Three tee shirts later, Ginny was frowning. "You know what, Hermione? Don't use the tee shirts. They just don't work. Today is _the _day. The day to make _the _impression. You get me?"

"Okay fine. What do you think?'

"Get the tank tops. Those will probably work better."

Hermione came out from behind her bed a couple minutes later. She wore a hot pink tank top that was much too low and had skinny little spaghetti straps. When she emerged, Ginny gasped and jumped about a foot into the air.

"Good God, Hermione, you'll _scare_ him! Ron isn't ready for that! His mental capacity just can't take it! Gosh! Even I can't take it. And… that is definitely NOT _the_ impression! As a matter of fact, it's entirely_ the_ _wrong_ impression! Now go put on something decent!"

Hermione flushed and came back a moment later with a white top with much thicker straps and was higher in the neck. Yay modesty.

Ginny nodded her approval. "Better, better. Hang on a minute. I want to try something." She riffled through Hermione's trunk and found a grey V-neck sweater. "Try that."

With a simple, casual pair of jeans and the more elegant top, Hermione looked gorgeous.

Ginny was proud. "Excellent. That is _the _impression."

Ron was nervous. He was babbling away to Harry, saying stuff that he stored at the back of his mind, in general, and stuff that Harry really shouldn't have been hearing. You'll see what I mean in a moment. It was a good thing that Harry was Ron's best friend, because anyone else would have been much less tactful than Harry and started laughing. And_ Harry_ would surely not repeat what Ron was spouting out.

Still, Harry was looking thoroughly constipated from suppressing his laughter. He near wet himself as Ron gabbled away.

"Oh God, what did I ask her out for? She'll start discussing grades…and don't we look kind of weird together? I mean, she's much shorter than I am, and I _am_ really tall…what'll Lavender say? What'll I do during the catfight? Will Lavender snog me randomly to drive Hermione away? But I don't like Lavender…Hermione's cooler—and I really like Hermione; I never really liked Lavender…I was only with her to get Hermione's attention…she's not here, listening, is she?" Ron looked around wildly. 

"No. Don't worry."

"How can I not worry? My first date with someone I really like! This is scary…hold me!" He grabbed the back of Harry's robes.

Harry grabbed them back. "Ron, mate, I understand your nervous state, but really, the little kid thing has got to stop."

Ron controlled himself a little. "Sorry Harry. But I'm scared! What if Lavender DOES snog me? Oh no! What if Hermione snogs me! Ah! Does she expect me to snog her on the first date? Harry! How do you snog!"

Harry snorted "Ron, you have had MUCH more experience than me; don't even ask. Remember Lavender?"

"But seriously! And what if she doesn't like the date! She'll never speak to me again! What if we do keep going out, though? Will I get sick of her? And what if I propose to her? Will she accept? But we look way too different, and the kids, what'll they look like? Will they have red bushy hair? Or will they have straight brown hair? And will they be tall…or short, and intelligent…or into Quidditch? Will they swear a lot? Will they…?"

Harry never heard the rest. He'd excused himself and laughed hysterically in the bathroom for a full ten minutes.

Hermione soon came down from the girls' dormitories. Harry saw her first. He smiled. "Hey Ginny. Hermione, you look awesome."

"Thanks…where's Ron?"

Harry laughed. "Trying to make himself look _really _good for the first date. Don't worry. He said he'd be out in about ten minutes."

Ginny piped up. "Is he okay?"

Harry wondered how to answer this one. "Put it this way…he's a little nervous."

Ron came downstairs about five minutes after that. Ginny, Harry, and Hermione gasped in surprise.

Ron's clothes were interesting. He was wearing a maroon sweater (obviously knitted by his mother), jeans (that had previously belonged to Fred and were, therefore, too short), cowboy boots (okay), and was carrying a card that seemed to say, "Happy Birthday" (very strange). But most odd was Ron's hair.

It seemed as though every hair care product on the face of the planet had been applied to Ron's hair. It had been so slicked, gelled, watered, combed, you name it, that it seemed completely solid. It was also waved, which scared Ginny very badly. She fainted from the smell of all his interesting hair care products (which did smell very, very awful).

Ron looked concernedly at his sister. Harry shoved both Ron and Hermione out the portrait hole. "She'll be fine. Have fun." As soon as they left, Harry laughed hysterically for another ten minutes, thus waking Ginny, who found it odd that Harry was slumped over a chair, cackling loudly.

**A/N:** I am sorry about the fact that this totally does not sound British, but I have only been to England for one week! Gosh, people, give me a break! I can't help it! Anyway, read the next chapter. It's _interesting_, so to speak.


	12. Chapter 12: Disastrous Date

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter; don't sue

**Chapter 12: The Disastrous Date**

Ron and Hermione entered Hogsmeade, neither of them saying much of anything. Thoughts ran through each of their minds.

_Will Hermione want to go out with me in future? I think I look pretty good. Is it my hair? She doesn't seem to want to say much; maybe I overdid it a little. Maybe I did; she never shuts up usually. _

_Oh, Ronald, what did you do to yourself? I'll totally go out with you if you promise not to do anything like this. And why aren't you talking? You always talk! You never stay this quiet, even when you're sleeping. According to Harry, you snore like a dozen airplanes. Why don't you like me? It's the tank top, isn't it? Maybe I should have worn that pink one. Darn you, Ginny!_

They walked into The Three Broomsticks and got butterbeers; neither spoke.

_Okay_, thought Hermione furiously, _time to start talking. _"Did you understand McGonagall and her whole spiel on incomplete Transfiguration? That was just confusing. I mean, I didn't even get it."

"Yeah, confusing, um hmm."

_RON, TALK TO ME!_

"How's the team?"

"Pretty good. We—"

And Ron talked away. He realized that becoming Hermione's "boyfriend" really shouldn't change their conversation.

Hermione really liked Ron. All thoughts of Viktor had left her mind.

Ron felt the same way.

But, as Ron had predicted, Lavender would be incredibly jealous. She and Parvati walked into The Three Broomsticks as Ron and Hermione were talking about Quidditch. Lavender saw red. She rushed at Hermione and knocked her off her chair. Then she grabbed Ron and kissed him for a long time. Ron was shocked. _Oh go away. What is wrong with you?_ He shoved Lavender off.

Lavender screamed and jumped on Hermione, who whipped her butterbeer off the table, bringing it down on Lavender's head. Hard. Hermione looked annoyed at the unconscious girl. "You were supposed to be my friend. God, Lavender, I've never seen you that angry, and for absolutely no reason."

Lavender quickly awoke. She let out a cry of rage and doused Hermione (and herself) with butterbeer. Hermione grabbed her wand and Levitated Lavender, up onto the ceiling, away from her. Hermione looked quite angry now. "Crazy child," she muttered. She let Lavender down (quite hard), and, before Lavender could do anything, picked her up and threw her out the door.

Madam Rosmerta's tankard was overflowing, as she stared, petrified, at the scene. Who knew Hermione fought like a tigress? Ron, evidently, was thinking the same thing, as he took a gigantic step away form Hermione, as she brushed off her hands and grinned.

"So—Ron, where to now?"

"Erm, I've got to, just got to…go." He ran off to the men's' bathroom.

A few moments later, Harry walked into the bathroom, and stared concernedly at Ron, who was leaning against a wall, looking very pale. "Hey, Ron—mate, are you okay?"

"Huh? Um, yeah, sure okay, Lavender…fight…butterbeer, Levitation…don't—want…too—much—snogging!"

Harry fought back his laughter (again; he was getting good at this). "What happened? Wait—I really do not want to know."

"No you don't."

"Okay—how's the date, anyway."

"Erm, lovely."

"Uh, okay. Did Hermione do something to you?"

"Nope. It's fine. Sort of."

"Okay. I'll leave you to it."

Ron left five minutes after Harry did, so he could get Hermione and go.

Hermione was sitting at their table, smiling, and drinking another bottle of butterbeer, like nothing had happened.

"Ready to go, Ron?"

"Um hmm."

"Okay. Let's go. Argh! I'm still wet!"

"Oh, no problem, Hermione. I'll fix that."

Eagerly, he whipped out his wand and muttered something.

But…oh no…

Hermione's hair burst into flames…and then…curled to form a huge brown afro!

She gasped in shock.

Ron grinned sheepishly. "Erm, uh-oh?"

Hermione began to cry.

Ron was helpless as to what to do. See, many a brave man are able to stand up to tigers, mammoths, and wild turkeys, but most can do absolutely nothing when they are standing in front of a crying woman. Well, Ron was kind of an idiot and a wimp, so you can imagine where that left him.

That was practically the end of the date. Hermione and Ron walked back to school, not saying much, or rather, not saying a word. Hermione was looking very sad in her afro; Ron was looking depressed. _Oh great. My one freaking chance of happiness, and I blow it completely. I'll never wield a wand again! I can't believe it! _

Hermione was depressed too. _Oh God. I must've sounded like such a baby there. STUPID! Why did you have to cry for? I'll never show my face in public again! I can't believe it!_

As they reached the main entrance, they both spoke at once.

"I'm sorry—"

"I—"

Ron started. "I'm sorry for the whole spell thing."

Hermione answered, "No, really, it's okay. I shouldn't have been such a baby."

"Yeah…"

"Ronald!"

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

They stared at each other for a moment. Then…

"Ron, as disastrous as that was, I kind of had some fun."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Positive?"

"Yes."

"Completely?"

"_Yes_."

"Certain?"

"YES! DAMN IT, RONALD!"

"Okay. Really?"

"Yes."

"Well, in that case, will you go out with me again?"

"Erm…Ronald…as good a time as I had…can we wait for the next date? I kind of need to recover."

"Sure!"

_I get to use a wand!_

_I get to go out in public!_

A/N: I won't be updating after this week for two weeks, because I've got break and I don't have Internet connection on this computer; sorry about that. Anyway…I'm wrapping up this story eventually, but not yet. In the next chapter, Umbridge's back:)


	13. Chapter 13: Return of the Twins

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. I can't think of good disclaimers today. Sorry

**Chapter 13: The Return of the Fellowship of the Two Redhead Twins**

(A/N: Sorry, LOTR moment. Also, little notice: I am writing this during break, and it will be posted in a few days.)

Umbridge was getting worse and worse. She hardly taught. Ah, no, correct me; she didn't even teach. She sat and watched her classes read through their incredibly boring texts and issued awful detentions, for no particular reason. Dumbledore was often away and still couldn't stop her, not knowing much of these doings. Not that anyone really complained; if Umbridge heard of a complaint of the students' to one or more of the teachers, another detention would be issued to said snitch.

Harry, Hermione, and Ron noticed that several of the students (including Slytherins) had red and inflamed hands.

After a month, they took matters into their own hands.

Hermione was furious. "How could Dumbledore do this?"

"He doesn't know, Hermione. Leave off a bit," answered Harry.

Hermione wouldn't back down so easily. "But this cannot be happening! It's crucial that we learn to properly defend ourselves especially at this time! We've got to do more than the DA!"

True, the DA was doing well and meeting regularly, but there was only so much that Harry could teach them all.

Ginny passed by. "I've got an idea."

Ron looked perplexed. "You're younger than us. What'll _you_ do?"

"FYI, Ronald, you seem to be forgetting about the Twins."

"Fred and George?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "No. Of course not. Not at all."

"Shut it."

"We could write to them! I'm sure they'd do _something_!"

Harry was a bit skeptical. "Erm, what are we saying here, Ginny? Hm? What'll they do? Do we really want to get into that situation? Remember the nifflers? Remember the Quidditch match that day?"

"Yeah, but Fred and George are too good to get caught. Plus, they're not students."

"True, but still…"

"But nothing. I'm going to write to them." And she flounced away.

"Crazy girl," Ron muttered.

The next week, the Twins arrived at Hogwarts, coming through Hogsmeade.

Sneaking into the school with the aid of their Decoy Detonators (they'd scared everyone in the Great Hall by dropping several and ran by amidst the screams and commotion), they found Gryffindor Tower and Ginny.

Ginny was probably Fred's and George's favourite sibling and they both Umbridge, so they were only too glad to do as Ginny had asked: cause enough mayhem to drive Umbridge crazy, or send her away for a while.

Draco's whole Chamber of Secrets thing had worked…for about eighteen hours. Not enough.

Fred and George had some better ideas.

So when dangerous fire-crabs ended up in Umbridge's desk, you can imagine how they got there.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Fred and George snickered. They'd brought their fireworks and various other objects of destruction.

The next day (Fred and George had rooms in the Three Broomsticks' inn for a while), the twins set up a full-castle ambush for Umbridge. This would be funny, but incredibly disastrous (eventually, stop rushing me).

As Umbridge walked down the hall, George ran over to Ginny, giving her a signal. "She's coming!"

Right on cue, Ginny set off one of Fred's Decoy Detonators. Umbridge yelled and ran in the other direction…where one of George's "Funny Death Friends" (fake ghosts of past wizard murderers) was waiting. Immediately, Bloody Jack the Ripping Ghoul zoomed out at Umbridge, yelling a mixture of profanity and death threats.

"Rest in pieces, thou foul fiend!"

"ARGH!"

Harry and Ron laughed, waiting for Umbridge to turn the corner…

As she came running at full speed, for her, which was not very fast, Ron set off one of George's great golden dragons while Harry lit a lethal looking cannon.

You can obviously tell that there was a good deal of laughter, snickering, rushing, running, screaming, yelling, tripping, injuring, and swearing.

After being doused by a Hexed Hose (Draco was waiting with that), slipping into a Portable Swamp (and coming back looking rather green and brown), getting lost in a Mysterious Mist (Umbridge walked around for an hour in there, looking confused, for when caught in the mist, everything seemed to look like a huge set of funhouse mirrors), and seeing a Boggart that Ginny managed to procure during a quick raid of the Teachers' Lounge (it turned into a vicious looking centaur with a quiver of sharp arrows), Umbridge was tired and angry. Things got a little out of hand after five hours of pranks on a Sunday afternoon.

You can't quite hide an all-castle-prank-down that has been going on for five hours, even in such a large school as Hogwarts. The teachers and students are bound to notice something, am I correct, reader? Well, not only do the teachers notice, but the ghosts do as well. This statement allows us to proceed to a simple lesson that will continue our story.

When you are carrying out an all-castle-prank-down, the following will cause and affect different occurrences.

If Firenze is in on your joke, he may gallop out at top speed, chasing Umbridge down seven corridors, before becoming tired. Umbridge will scream and run. However, Professor Flitwick may be ambling along the corner, thus colliding painfully with Umbridge. Flitwick will have to go to the Hospital Wing with a broken nose. Next, Peeves, who thinks Umbridge is playing some weird game, will decide to throw a strange assortment of objects at her, including a set of quills, a student's hat, the chandelier from the Great Hall and Mrs. Norris.

You can imagine, reader, what Umbridge's reaction will be—screaming and running (as she has been doing for the entire afternoon). As she is screaming and running, she may scream and run right into Professor Snape, who is carrying jars of pickled rat brains and is not at all pleased to have broken them upon collision with said fat teacher and having spilled pickled rat brains all over his black robes. He will begin to swear so loudly, that Peeves runs away.

Upon finding you and the mischief-makers, Snape will be quite angry with you and take you all into his office, give you a stern, sarcastic, rather rude lecture (with Umbridge looking angry at his side), give you detention (washing his soiled robes), and taking off fifty points from your unfortunate house: Gryffindor. But, luckily for you, Professor McGonagall will be outside the office, reward each of you with fifty points, and give you a rare smile.

Your accomplices, the Weasley Twins, will be sent back to Hogsmeade and will be given strict orders not to reenter Hogwarts with such a purpose again.

So, all in all, you will have had a very triumphant day.

Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron walked back to Gryffindor Tower, laughing as Peeves shoved a startled Filch into a suit of armour. That had been a great day.

**A/N: **I'm wrapping up in the next chapter. And I'll start a new story. I had the idea of Voldemort coming into the story, but I could never really fit him in. And, just so y'all know, I may do most of my story in summer, because of the desires of the parental unit, so I commence on the next chapter in a bit…then, au revoir till summer! Ah, oui, merci to all the readers who aiment No Magic Allowed et Le Return de Cruella. J'aime tous les jeunes, qui les aiment, et pour les jeunes qui les n'aiment pas, c'est ok. Thanks, y'all.


	14. Chapter 14: Ciao!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter

**Chapter 14: So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersen, Goodbye!**

Dumbledore returned. Finally. Now all that was left to do was get rid of Umbridge, which Dumbledore did not do. Because he left again the following day, on Horcrux business, he left the sorting out of the castle to his deputy headmistress, Minerva McGonagall.

So you see, reader, Dumbledore is entirely useless in this story, because he is always off, searching for fragments of Voldemort's soul. Dear, dear.

So…Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Harry were back to Square One.

And Fred and George were gone, thus putting them back a little bit.

Ginny went back to plotting again.

She came up with some extremely unrealistic ideas, like…

Pushing Umbridge into the lake and making it look like an accident

Luring her out of the castle by leaving candy and cake strewn out in a path…to the Forest

Scaring her out of the castle

_Not bloody likely_ she thought. And she was right.

So, Ginny resorted to the old standby…something I like to call DKL

Drug, Kidnap, and Leave

The Drugging part went pretty well.

Hermione remembered second year—how she filled two chocolate cakes with Sleeping Draught and planted them for Crabbe and Goyle—how the greedy pigs stuffed themselves with them—thus, Harry and Ron had enough time to "become" Crabbe and Goyle to interrogate Draco about his alleged connection to the Chamber of Secrets.

Draco was, of course, the friend of the entire gang and was in on the DKL. Hermione pulled another Hermione—filling each chocolate of a whole box with a sufficient amount of Sleeping Draught to put Umbridge out for eighteen hours.

Of course, Draco was conveniently never told of Harry and Ron's impersonation of his two former best friends; Hermione had "forgotten" to tell him about their thing with snooping in earlier years.

Draco left the box of chocolates at Umbridge's door (a note was signed, "Love from Pansy" and decorated with little hearts, courtesy of Ginny, who also stole some of Pansy's well-known, sickly-sweet perfume, which, of course, scented the paper, to prevent any choice of discovery).

And (A/N: OOC moment here; deal with it; I like it that way, sorry for the rudeness) some of the professors who had been driven near madness by Umbridge's foully simpering manner were in on the DKL as well.

The Transfiguration teacher saw Hermione with the Sleeping Draught and chocolates, and asked what on earth she was doing. She approved, upon hearing the reason (Hermione was too tired to make up a sufficient lie). Professor McGonagall knew that she would feel guilty in some forty years, should she ever meet Umbridge again, but until that happened…

Professor Flitwick was sick and tired of Umbridge constantly giggling and tittering about his unfortunate vertical challenge, so to speak, that he was only to glad to help the group (he discovered it by chance, when Hermione and Ron were talking about it in class and he desired to know "what was so interesting that was keeping them from practicing the Wind Charm," he'd set them. Don't you hate it when teachers do that?).

Professor Sprout hated Umbridge's condescending looks at her flyaway hair. _At least my hair isn't mouse brown, streaked with grey. _She caught Draco putting the chocolates at the door. When she saw the note, she put the two together and burst out laughing, promising to help.

Umbridge, stupidly, ate each chocolate, offering some to the teachers, them stuffing her face. She was soon out like a light.

Drugging finished.

The Kidnapping went fairly well. McGonagall Conjured ropes out of nothing, binding Umbridge (who did not, and would not, wake). Just in case, you know?

Flitwick Moved Umbridge with the Locomotor Charm.

He floated her out of the castle…way, way away.

McGonagall had a Portkey ready (one of Dumbledore's socks; she didn't think he'd mind) and placed that right next to Umbridge with her own Locomotor Charm.

"Three, Two, One…"

Umbridge spun out of sight.

Draco, Hermione, Ginny, Ron, and Harry stared at the teachers in shock. They grinned at the students (little scary) who stared back in awe. And shock.

Ginny spoke. "Where'd you send her, Professor?"

McGonagall gave another wry smile. "Oh, somewhere where she won't get back too easily. Or want to."

With that, the teachers left the students at the doorway of the Entrance Hall.

Ron broke the silence.

"Wonder where she sent her."

The next day, Umbridge woke up in the London Zoo, where some very rude monkeys pulled her hair and threw peanut shells at her as she ran and screamed.

**A/N:** I don't think I've finished yet. I want to do some sort of epilogue, so this chapter isn't quite the end yet. Je vais mettre le chapter la semaine prochaîne.


	15. Chapter 15: Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, or anything else for that matter

**Chapter 15: Epilogue**

Ron and Hermione were dating for the rest of their last year, which was a nice way to end it, don't you agree, reader? Both kept thinking, _maybe in a few years…maybe…maybe_. But they often had lively or very fiery debates and disputes, so it was like they were already married.

Harry and Ginny kept going out. They worked out fine.

Draco was clearly left girlfriend-less, but he decided to go for Parvati Patil. At first, Parvati was obviously not pleased by his attentions, but eventually found affection for Draco. And a lot of it.

And some other characters…

Neville and Susan Bones seemed to like each other and soon ended up together sharing their great love of Herbology and magical plants. Sometimes, the strangest things draw people together.

Dean Thomas, Ginny's second boyfriend, was glad to not be with Ginny. Ginny was very nice (and a _very _good kisser), but she had a penchant for playing interesting pranks, most of which he was the unfortunate victim. Dean decided to try for Padma Patil, who liked him because he didn't swear, would dance with her at balls, and didn't wear odd, maroon, second-hand dress robes, unlike her first date in fourth year, Ron Weasley.

Lavender Brown ended up with no one, as she was one of the clingiest and most irritating girlfriends that ever existed (Ron heartily agreed with this, as it was his full description of our friend, Lavender).

Cho Chang, Harry's first girlfriend, and Michael Corner, Ginny's first boyfriend, went out together. That was that. And isn't it amusing that Harry's first date and Ginny's first date went out—and Harry and Ginny were dating?

Fred Weasley proposed to Angelina Johnson. And she accepted. They balanced each other out with their favourite activities: Quidditch and the joke-shop. So it worked out well enough with the utmost felicity and happiness. Except when Angelina sometimes found fake wands in place of her real wand, or Portable Swamps in the shower, or when Fred found Quidditch robes in his storage room with the Shield Cloaks, or a broomstick and some violent Bludgers in his closet. But otherwise, everything was fine.

George married a Muggle girl who loved the joke-shop stuff he showed her (she declared that they seemed just like real magic, tee hee). George's marriage completely delighted his father, who took to asking poor Annie long, tiresome questions about the function of steamboats and kites. Actually, she found this quite amusing. But George definitely did not.

Draco and his mother went into hiding, as Voldemort was powerful and now searching for disloyal Death Eaters. He (A/N: OOC moment—again) and Narcissa (and Parvati) fled to New York City, where Voldemort was not entirely successful in finding him—too complex, NYC was.

Ah yes, Umbridge—she decided to work for Hogsmeade in the end, not wishing to go back to Hogwarts or the Ministry, and became a waitress at Madame Puddifoot's teashop.

So, all were happy and content. That was that. I hoped you did enjoy this, reader, and if you did not, well, that's okay. So now, we must say…

Bye for now

**A/N: **If I ever get a chance, I may write another story about Voldemort's unsuccessful search in NYC for Draco. It could prove interesting, as I generally say. Well, that's my second fanfic, though many may consider it my first, as it was the sequel to No Magic Allowed. Anyway, I'm done! Thanks to everyone for the reviews, and—au revoir!

Oh—you know what? I lied about whatever new story I'm coming up with. I think I'll just continue this whole thing in one huge set of fanfic stories.


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